In God's eyes, do a man and a woman become married after having sex or after exchanging vows?

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Overview

After decades of hearing, "Do what's right for you—as long you hurt no one else," many couples have chosen to live together rather than marry first. Even couples raised in the church sometimes choose to cohabit before their wedding. Some of them argue that it's the sexual union, and not the vows, that actually creates the marriage.

Yet this approach seems to reduce marriage to a physical act; it overlooks the wonderful spiritual mystery the Bible reveals. The elusive, intangible spiritual "tie that binds" in the eyes of God holds the answer here.

What conviction leads us to forsake all others and cleave to our spouse? What yearning of the soul and body yokes a man and a woman so completely that they live together as one flesh? When we answer these questions, we'll understand which comes first in becoming one flesh: sex or the wedding.

Table of Contents

LEADER'S GUIDE

    • Identify the Current Issue

    • Discover the Eternal Principles

—Teaching point one: According to Scripture, sexual relations alone do not constitute marriage.

—Teaching point two: Marriage is to be a physical and spiritual lifelong covenant between a man and a woman before God and society.

—Teaching point three: How does the Holy Spirit enrich Christian spirituality?

—Teaching point four: What does Christian spirituality look like and feel like?

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